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We tend to think of Valentine's Day as being about relationships. But there's another relationship that quietly shapes how we think, feel, and function every day: your relationship with your nervous system.
I often talk about the benefits of mindfulness and meditation. The research is solid. These practices support cognition, neuroplasticity, emotional regulation, and overall brain health. Recent research in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences even found that focused attention meditation influenced how fluids circulate in the brain. During meditation, fluids in the brain began moving in ways that typically only happen during deep sleep, when the brain clears the debris of daily thinking and activity.
This helps explain why mindfulness is often linked to long-term cognitive and neurological health. The benefit is not just mental. It is physiological.
And yet, meditation might not be accessible for every nervous system.
Many clients tell me: "I know meditation is good for me. I just can't do it."
If you've tried mindfulness and it doesn't feel right, it doesn't mean your brain is resistant, broken, or undisciplined. It usually means your nervous system has a different love language.
Some nervous systems feel safe in stillness. Others feel safer with movement, rhythm, or sensory input. When we try to force calm in a way that doesn't match how our brain processes safety, the result is often more frustration, not regulation.
The good news is that there are several science-supported alternatives that offer many of the same regulatory benefits, often in a more accessible way.
- Gentle movement. Light, intentional movement such as stretching, yoga, or mobility work gives the nervous system something predictable to follow. For many people, movement quiets the mind more effectively than sitting still because the brain is engaged rather than restrained.
- Walking as a form of mindfulness. If walking helps you feel clearer or more centered, that counts! The rhythmic nature of walking supports nervous system regulation, and being outdoors adds an additional grounding effect. Let your attention move with your steps.
- Visualization. If you've ever pictured a calming place when stressed, you were already using a powerful regulation tool. Visualization works best when you engage the senses. Notice what you would see, hear, smell, and feel. Sensory detail helps signal safety to the brain.
- Grounding practices. For nervous systems that find internal focus overwhelming, grounding can be far more accessible than meditation. Grounding shifts attention outward by noticing physical sensations or naming what you see around you. Structured tools, like the 5-4-3-2-1 method, give the brain something concrete to hold onto.
- Focused, repetitive tasks. Simple, repetitive activities like chopping vegetables, folding laundry, gardening, or cleaning can be surprisingly calming. Repetition creates structure and predictability, which reduces mental noise and supports regulation.
One important reminder: these practices work best when used regularly, not perfectly. Just like meditation, they're about building access to calm over time.
This Valentine's season, consider asking a different question. Not "Why can't I meditate?" But "What helps my nervous system feel safe and supported?"
That question alone is an act of care. And this Valentine's Day, it might be the most important love language to learn.
With gratitude,
Ana Isabel Sánchez
* All illustrations are the work of Carlos Rubin and are used with permission.
News: ¡Ahora en español!
I'm excited to share that I've been working to bring my newsletter to Spanish speakers! If you know colleagues, friends, or family members who'd benefit from brain-based coaching insights in Spanish, I'd love for you to pass this along.
We're also building a collection of resources in Spanish on the website. You can point them to https://anasanchezllc.com/recursos-en-espanol to join the Spanish newsletter list.
  
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